Worry. Fear. Anxiety.

This last Sunday our good friend from church and small group member Zach O'Neel blessed us with an amazing and passionate sermon. Zach is the type of person who doesn't have to say a whole lot to let people know what his life is about. He has come from a world of hurt and addiction but praise the Lord he came out on top. He has clung to God's word and is an amazing example to all of us what it looks like to live a life that is centered on the Gospel. His sermon on Sunday touched on a topic I have struggled with most of my life. 

Worry. Fear. Anxiety. 

Zach talked about what it looks like to be content in Christ no matter the situation we are given - a great reminder, however when anxiety has been a part of your life for so long, sometimes it is easier said than done. 

I have struggled with anxiety for about 9 years. It started when I was in high-school but we'll save that story for a different day. The events that have led to this way of living have caused me to loose site of what God wants for me. As I have been learning more about spiritual warfare it has become more and more apparent that I'm not in this battle alone... 

The enemy WANTS me to worry! He keeps my mind preoccupied with worries about health, accidents, worst case scenarios, work, sudden disasters, relationships and anything else he can sneak in there to keep my eyes from where they need to be. He WANTS me to be anxious and he WANTS me to doubt the goodness of God. But unfortunately for him, this is NOT what God wants for me! And God ALWAYS wins! 

One of the first verses Steve had me memorize was Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with your wherever you go." 

Again, God's word is SO clear, it tells me exactly what I need to do. So why is it so hard!? It's scary how easy I allow my situations and thoughts to start traveling down the wrong path. One minute I think I'm in control, but slowly without even noticing, worry starts to weave its way into my thoughts, making me wonder how I'm going to do it all.

Exhaustion leads to physical and mental drainage meaning my faith gets drained too which then leads me to a place of self doubt. I begin to question my ability to manage my life and doubt my ability to hear God clearly or fulfill all the roles I assumed He wanted me to do.

As I read today, I came across this devotional: 

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)

In the bible, Martha too questioned God's care for her.

Martha's sister Mary had left her in the kitchen to do all the work while Mary sat in another room listening to Jesus. 

The Bible tells us, "She came to him and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!'" (Luke 10:40b NIV) 

Listen to how Jesus responded: "'Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her'" (v. 41-42 NIV). 

In that moment, Jesus showed Martha just how much He cared. Not just about how hard she was working, but about the rest He knew she needed. Instead of giving her what she demanded, Jesus showed Martha what she needed and the choice she could make to receive it. 

Jesus helped Martha see that Mary hadn't abandoned her to do the work by herself. Instead, Mary chose to walk away from distractions and preparations so she could take hold of something that couldn't be taken away from her. 

It was the one thing that would last even after Jesus was gone: time with Him resting in His presence, soaking in His perspective, and listening to His promises.

1 Peter 5:7 says to "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."

As I read this verse and Martha's story, I saw the difference between what God offers and what I had been doing. I was carrying the heavy weight of my concerns but Jesus had invited me to come to Him and cast my cares upon Him, so that He could care for me.

When I do all the talking and instructing, God doesn't have a chance. Instead of telling Him what I needed, He showed me how to say, "Lord, this is what's on my mind. This is what I'm worried about." And then stop and ask, "But Lord, what is going on in my heart? What are Your thoughts about this situation? What do I need and what should I do?"

As I'm learning to give my concerns to God, my heart is growing more confident in knowing just how much He cares about me. With this new approach, my burdens are lighter and my heart is too.